episode 5: final 11

[godfrey]

well here i am fellas. final 11, jury, best player of the game*

that statement came with an asterisk, i'm the best player in the game^{who cant read the rules.}
some of the best players in history couldn't read, am i right? hariet tubman couldn't read and that lady led the whole "underground railroad" alliance. so yeah.

this all comes from the most recent challenge, where i was laying in bed doing the challenge on my phone. i was sick, i was tired, i have at least a dozen other excuses if you wanna hear em, and instead of "voting to nominate" i thought i was reading "voting to get hoh" so i was like oh aight!

so yeah, i voted for adam and van, my smallest alliance atm. to nominate. woops.

no one knows though, so i'm gucci. it was just a momentary lapse in focus. when i win this game, we'll all laugh at this funny story.

anyways no hoh this week. 5 nominees, none of them are me. i'm honestly amazed that i'm still here. OH, an alliance sprouted up. the oucasts alliance or whatever of myself, charlotte, pilar, and kevin. so now i'm in two alliances and loving it. i think i can play a mean inbetweener game. pilar thinks or knows that theres another alliance consisting of the other half of the game cause jackie told her that there was one on the way out.

do i trust this? i think it holds some truth and you know, matches some suspicions, but i think my alliance with van and adam works best when i seem like the follower so that's rad to me. they're like "yo godfrey be dumb, he's not gonna figure shit out" and imma be like "NAH I KNOW EVERYTHING", i dont plan on going to the very end with them anyways. i want them to protect me from the other half nominating me.

if i had to pick a final two to chill with, i'd be pilar or penny. someone i can beat in the end.

anyways thanks for reading. i think i'm on the train to the end baby.

[godfrey]

i'm starting to think that nominating van and adam wasn't all that bad, especially van. she's being so dodgy with me about jackie from the past. i was chattin her up, saying stuff like "yeah apparently jackie had an alliance of 5" and fuckin van says "oh yeah she made several alliances", and continued to avoid answering the question of 'were you in her fucking alliances"

she was like "oh yeah she made a ton" i was like VAN FUCKIN were you in THE 5 PERSON ALLIANCE that jackie clearly felt was legitimate. fuckin, scummy as hell am i right?

so yeah, no sorrows with that. van's scummy as fuck. NOT TO MENTION she never came to me and told me about jackie's million's of alliances when they were happening. if she was really my main ally, she woulda told me about them.

so yeah, no longer trust van. fuck her.

on the flip side, i'm getting better from being sick.

[godfrey]

fuck vanessa.

so i finally caught myself up with her scummy ass. i told her how i felt, and she responded with the SNARKIEST bullshit right back.

if there's one thing i hate in orgs, it's bitches who can't take the heat. van's lied to me these last two weeks (i've lied too but lets ignore that part real quick) so i u-turn right back and tell van what i've heard, how it makes me feel, and she better tell me some legit shit if she wants to work with me again.

she responds with snarky comments, not answering questions, and being an absolute bitch.

so fuck van. peace out sister. you lost an ally in an hour long conversation. i can't wait to get you out of this house. adam doesn't deserve to be on the block, you do.

[godfrey]

Aisha McKinnon
are you g0girl

implying i cheated to make the decision i made makes me think i made the right decision.

i responded with 'whose gogirl', UNDERESTIMATE ME BITCH!

[godfrey]

oh nvm she was asking me cause i misspelled some word but hey, i made the move and whether it was right or wrong, i gotta stick with it.

i'll write a pimpin confessional tonight.

[godfrey]

hey guys

starting off by saying i'm drunk, medicated, hurting, congested, cranky, and angry. just a lot of shit piling up on the night that i am sick AND on the person i'm allied with. its no big. yeah i'm fuckin WRECKED tho.

aight so anyways where do i fucckin start. this round has been a treat hasn't it. i guess i'll start with last night. basically i've been angry for the last 30 hours and it's wearing on me. ive never been as stressed about the game as i have in this one. it all started when i heard about alliances being made that included 5 people. through deducing (like pilar isn't in it, i'm not in it, and the inactives aren't in it)i determine... you know... that van had to be in it, and i also assumed adam was in on it aswell.

so i'm like alright, i dunno anything for sure. then, when it trickles out slowly that this alliance was legit and adam was conveniently left out of it, i start to hustle.

for one, van shoulda told me it. what's been told to me by the other side is that there was this alliance with jackie, van, mike, zach, and aisha and i would assume that van of all fuckin people, my blessed ally van, would tell me about it. i tell them everything... EVERYTHING i knew from what pilar told me. i left out minor twosomes but if anything happened that was larger than two, you bet your ass i woulda told them about it.

so since van was hiding secrets, it gives me this realization that shit, if van isn't keeping this legitimate, what are the odds that adam's not really in it either? what if i'm their backup plan, their goat, their... i dunno, freebie to win the game? that's the thing with how i play, is i try to be self aware yet also play myself down. i just felt like i was being used, not being completely clued in.

so thats where my mistrust grew. maybe i should've accused or confronted van off the bat, but in my limited orging experience, you gotta fuckin tell your #1's everything. if you dont, then you show mistrust and your not really #1's. youre more like... backup numbers. i dunno, this was fuckin stupid, BUT YOU GET MY POINT.

so then i get paranoid. what if adam is in on this shit. what if adam isn't loyal either. what if my alliance is a sham. then my deal with pilar and penny and all the outcasts slowly and surely grew to a more legitimate thing.

lo and behold, when i'm at my worst in terms of paranoia, adam doesn't win veto and is conveniently told about the alliance. conveniently after veto. conveniently after the alliance has already been aired by jackie for 24 hours and he had the time to do some damage control.

it's all pretty convenient, really.

and then in the recent lectures i have with adam or mikey, they all say that "well duh theres a push to save adam cause he's active and char isn't"

ah yes that was the reasoning for audrey right?

just a lot of bullshit. it didn't help that van treated our initial conversation like garbage and never answered a few goddamn questions that i really wanted to know. AFTER keeping secrets from me. so yeah, van is my first nom when i'm hoh. probly with zach just to prove theres no #canadiansmasterace or whatever.

fuck man, this shit stressed me out. imma snooze.

[godfrey]

worst part is like, am i a hero or a villain? did i just screw over a good guy or someone whose been screwing me over? game changer problems i guess.